2 Pudgy Cats need a home

My mother has decided to live the dream & move down to Florida to retire.  However, her new place doesn't take pets.  So... she needs to give up her 2 cats.  The 2 cats are pudgy (read: FAT), arrogant, housebroken, good health, and are of middle age or so.  I would take them in, but my apartment doesn't allow pets either.

Anyone willing to adopt/put up with 2 cats that will rule your home as their own, flop down on your chest/face/head/lap and demand attention when you're really busy with work, or will act superior than you all the time b/c your own mother likes them more than you... please let me know.

/....long or short haired?

I believe them to be long haired.

mobile furry houseplants and organic pest control units.  The re NOT cats

Mmm - cats are notoriously bad spellers.  They think cat is spelled god.

My mom sent me a massage.  Her "favorite babies" are a mix of American & British Short Hair she thinks.  The vet has the exact stuff.  She'll get the paperwork to me soon.

The cats are (in her words) well-behaved, loving, intelligent, loyal, & never disappoint by not calling their mother at least once a week.    Mom can also throw in all their toys, litter box, & other peripherals.

If you absolutely can't find anyone by whatever the deadline is, I can at least put them up until a permanent home can be found. I was looking to get into the cat foster scene anyway...

No one needs to worry about the cats anymore.  After my mother had a crying-breakdown-fit, my brother spoke with our landlord & a deal was worked out.  So, my brother and I will be getting the cats and our landlord has temporarily waived the "No Pet" policy in our apartment.  Come May or June, I will have 2 fat cats moving in.    2 fat, pudgy cats who hate me.  2 fat, pudgy cats who will take over the apartment, shred the furniture, not allow me to sit on my own couch or watch tv, and will claim my bed as their own, forcing me to use my LARP airmattress and sleep on the floor.  2 fat, pudgy, bossy cats I will have to fly down to Florida so they can visit my mother and have her smother them in love as she berates me for not being a good enough son.  ???

In other words, typical cats.