Worst. Fiction. EVER.

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02 Jul 2009 22:13 #1 by GJSchaller
Worst. Fiction. EVER. was created by GJSchaller
James, whatever you do, don't start your book with any of these openings:

www.bulwer-lytton.com/2009.htm


Lord Gideon Weaveforger of Kaladonia
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OOG: Geoffrey Schaller
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02 Jul 2009 22:38 - 03 Jul 2009 08:08 #2 by Gallion
Replied by Gallion on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.

"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."


This is EXACTLY how my book about the Inverted tower starts! This is such &#*@(*& I cant believe this guy plagiarized my first sentence!!!!



- James C. Kimball Director, Knight Realms
Last edit: 03 Jul 2009 08:08 by .
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03 Jul 2009 01:15 #3 by Simon
Replied by Simon on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.

OOG: Nick H.
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03 Jul 2009 07:46 #4 by Lina Marinescu
Replied by Lina Marinescu on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
James, I'm ashamed that you would write such a run on sentence... I thought you were better than that! ;)

IG- Lina Marinescu
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03 Jul 2009 08:13 #5 by Magnus
Replied by Magnus on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.

Towards the dragon's lair the fellowship marched -- a noble human prince, a fair elf, a surly dwarf, and a disheveled copyright attorney who was frantically trying to find a way to differentiate this story from "Lord of the Rings."
Andrew Manoske
Foster City, CA


copyright attorney = best P.C. ever

Matthew Majchrzak

ST

Lord General Magnus

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03 Jul 2009 13:47 #6 by Bladesworn
Replied by Bladesworn on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.

Towards the dragon's lair the fellowship marched -- a noble human prince, a fair elf, a surly dwarf, and a disheveled copyright attorney who was frantically trying to find a way to differentiate this story from "Lord of the Rings."
Andrew Manoske
Foster City, CA

copyright attorney = best P.C. ever


If you follow this logic, then the debate of Pirate vs Ninja has just been ended.  Ninja wins... because ninjas don't care about copyrights or attorneys.  ;)

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03 Jul 2009 14:55 #7 by THENPC
Replied by THENPC on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
It's true... the proof is here!

Adversus Nox Noctis,
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05 Jul 2009 20:13 #8 by Odo Garaath
Replied by Odo Garaath on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
How about that Norm H guy?

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05 Jul 2009 23:22 #9 by geezer
Replied by geezer on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
I do so love them.  Thanks for posting Geoff.

"Piracy - Hostile takeovers without the paperwork"

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08 Jul 2009 10:13 - 10 Jul 2009 09:03 #10 by JoDios
Replied by JoDios on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
Remember James, periods are your friends.

OOG: Jo
Last edit: 10 Jul 2009 09:03 by .
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08 Jul 2009 18:07 #11 by hecknoah
Replied by hecknoah on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.

Remember James. periods are your friends.


Shouldn't that be a colon?

Noah
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10 Jul 2009 00:53 #12 by geezer
Replied by geezer on topic Worst. Fiction. EVER.
comma

Edwin Haroldson
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Master of the Mages' Guild

An ethical person does the right thing when no one is watching.

OOG - Charlie Spiegel - Kitchen Marshal

"War is a matter of vital importance to the State..."
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