And for a little bit of Humor....

I think I mentioned this one....In the Spirit of the famed "The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the US Army", I will bring you a little at a time, "The 250 things Raider is Not allowed to do at Knight Realms."

If something tickles your funny bone, feel free to simply leave a thank you, this way the boards won't get cluttered up.

1: Not allowed to beat the Londwynians into building me a steam powered, chainsaw bladed battleaxe with Mithril teeth.
2: Not even if I don't wear armor.
3. a ballista is not a valid way of testing "the pen is mightier than the sword."
4. Not allowed to make a PC that talks like Tank Dempsey from COD:NZ.
5. Especially not a Witch Hunter.
6. Not allowed to instigate another three friends to make a Khitan, Barbarian and Gypsy, and all of us be witch hunters to circumvent #4.
7: an HK416 is not a valid weapon for a swashbucker to fight a duel.
8. not allowed to yell "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" before charging into battle.
9. "Ave Dominus Nox!" is no better.
10. Activating berserker rage and yelling "KILL! MAIM! BURN!" is not okay either.

11: No leading a charge of undead screaming "LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNKIIIINNNNNSSS!!!!!!"

Actually all of the last 3 I may have done

8. not allowed to yell "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" before charging into battle.
9. "Ave Dominus Nox!" is no better.
10. Activating berserker rage and yelling "KILL! MAIM! BURN!" is not okay either.

#12: In reference to number 11 above: Not even if I name my character Leroy Jenkins.

JTinney wrote: 11: No leading a charge of undead screaming "LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNKIIIINNNNNSSS!!!!!!"

Number 11 has already occurred a number of times I've been to KR by various people. Some new, some old, some were PCing at the time, others were NPCing. The number of varied "battle cries" I've heard have been... "Leroy Jenkins", "Spoon", "This is Sparta", "Hadouken".

11. Not allowed to taunt rat men with cheese on my spear point.
12. When chasing Lycanthropes, do not say "here puppy puppy..."
13. The Noble council is not "the Count and his b****es."
14. trolls are not filled with tastykakes, and it is wrong to even think of telling new players that they are.
15. the following are not valid gods for a cleric: The Flying Spaghetti Monster, The Emperor, The Greater Good, Any Chaos God, Galactus, Zod, Zuul, Lemmy Kilmister, or General Mattis.
16. there is no "potion of caffeination" in the rulebook. there is a very good reason for this.
17. because you'd be more nuts than you already are.
18. Not allowed to have a D&D monster manual as an in game physrep.
19. not allowed to refer to Andorrans as "Holy H*s".
20. Yes, the fact that you haven't done these things is one reason you're still alive.

21. A Berserker is NOT called a "Travancian Dynamic Entry Tool"
22. Even if its technically true.
23. Cavaliers are not "snowflakes"
24. Swashbucklers are not "pretty ponies"
25. Elves are not "Panzees"
26. IF you should ever play an assassin, your goal is to be subtle. This being said, watching Predator and reading the Lord of Crows is a bad idea.
27. Do not give the "proper response" if someone calls your kilt a skirt.
28. There are no "Pictsies" in Travance.
29. Because if the Discworld can barely survive them, it would be a bad idea.
30. When playing a Chaos Warrior, patterning the markings on your armor after the Angry Marines is a BAD idea.

#11: I "built a better mousetrap"...except the food was dangling from my staff in an attempt to lead the rat swarms to the areas of Alchemical Adhesive on the floor. Would have worked, too, if PCs hadn't kept stepping in it before the swarms respawned.

#16: Chris Zipeto and I have alchemy physreps that are made of pixie stix and 14-hour energy. Quiver in fear.

22. Do not boast about taking heads as trophies.... It leads to increasingly bad things.

23. Never run from the dire bunny.

31. Not Allowed to refer to any holy site of Andorra as "The Realm Of B***steros".
32. Not allowed to refer to Andorran Worship as "The Game Of B**ers"
33. No, we don't want to hear your take on the Slogan.
34. Galladel is not the founder of the Reasonable Marines.
35. Gaia does not spawn hippies.
36. This being said, playing Slayer at full volume (or even bagpipe marches) will not repel them. No matter what Cartman said.
37. Valos is not Roboute Guilliman.
38. Jack Sparrow is not the demigod of Coast Haveners.
39. a toilet seat is not the alternative holy sigil of Valos.
40. Not allowed to NPC a Glommite with the last name Giovanni.

yer reaching here, boyo.

just saying... though the Glommite named Giovanni is amusing.

I am also unconvinced Valos is not Robute Guilliman.

Here's a few you from personal experience:
X: Do not eat the demon intestines
8*: Especially if your main weapon is a severed arm.
(I am actually surprised I survived both of those.)

41. Pants a Celt.
42. Bet Jonas Kane everything in your coin purse that he can't do a Count of Winterdark impersonation.
43. Catch fireflies with a maul in front of A Kiterian.
44. Arrive in Travance with five or more pounds of bacon and specifically label their packages as yours only.
45. Get a mug or bottle of anything at the bar and refuse to return them.
46. Hold a Turtle at knife point in front of Lord Tartaros.

Those are a few anyway.

9000: All things in Travance will try to kill you. Even the bunnies, the butterflies, the goats, the sheep, the beavers, the muskrats, the gophers, the puddles, the moths, and yes even the chickens....