Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: possibly late
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- GJSchaller
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"Wow..this skull is reaaaallly special. Almost unhumanly special. You know whats really special? This skull. Look how special it is.."
Damn it George Lucas, we all ready figured the skull out in the first 20 minutes of the film. Ahead of you here Georgie...
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- Chris
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I am right there with you, While I like Spielberg and Lucas and they are both responsible for some of the greatest movies out there...I cant help but feeling a little gipped from Indy. Sure it was a decent movie and I did not leave the cinema wanting my money back, but I did leave scratching my head wondering where and when the highpoint was...I just feel Lucas had finally lost the plot and this time taken poor Steven with him.
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- Draknar DoKanen
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I had many of the same problems with this movie as I did with the secone Pirates movie. Just like in Pirates, when they're fighting on that water wheel for 20 damn minutes, this movie asked to to suspend disbelief for too long. I understand it's a movie, and so I'm alright with some ridiculousness, but when you've got people swordfighting on top of speeding cars, it just shouldn't last longer than a few minutes. And swinging through the jungle from vine to vine should just never happen. Ever. Unless you're Brendan Fraser.
Even worse than that though was just the overall direction they went with the plot. I was fine with the concept of "ohh maybe this skull isn't human", until the end. Then it was just rediculous. Since when has Indiana Jones been a Sci-Fi movie?
This was far and away the worst Indiana Jones film of the series. It was seriously terrible.
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Although that could be cause the aspect of him having a kid with the chick from the first movie has a soft spot in my heart, as I can still remember being about 7 or 8 and play-pretending I was that kid.
No matter what, I

Defend the Land for it is the Base of the Pillar,
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Cate Blanchett's character has a vague notion of getting super mind powers by going to the temple, but really she's grasping at straws with that because apart from the skull dominating people to take it home, there's no reason given for why her goal would ever be realized. Indy has no idea what's going on at all, but just goes through the motions for no apparent reason and seems to discover almost nothing other than which is the correct path off of the screen and onto the next segment of the movie.
I just thought there was a serious lack of motivation that you could relate to, and it hobbled the story badly because it disconnected you from the sense of adventure. Add to that some of the scenes Sean described, which seemed to render the action lifeless (as opposed to the earlier movies in which real stunts were performed and left you agog that someone could actually DO THAT). And then mix in the complete WTF ending, in which the good guys would have been annihilated by the very aliens who said 'we'll reward you' if they hadn't managed to run fast enough to get out of there. And who the crap were those people guarding the temple? And what the crap happened to Cate Blanchett in the end?
The earlier movies all seemed much more sensible to me, and also much, much more human. What was missing from this movie was that essential beating heart of adventure. It was just a pack of action sequences combined with effects sequences and comic relief sequences. Like putting amino acids and lipids in a jar and proclaiming it life. Uh, not quite.
/rant
Matt White
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Like putting amino acids and lipids in a jar and proclaiming it life. Uh, not quite.
/rant
First of all, dont make fun of my mommy and daddy Matt White.
Temple of Doom was much better than this garbage. All of the points against Crystal Skull have already been raised so I wont bother bringing them up again.
I had been saying to myself since well before the release. 'Alright Craig, treat it like the LotR movies, dont get your hopes up and just enjoy it'. Well I didnt have my hopes up, this movie just wasnt any fun to watch.
My favorite Temple of Doom scene was the dinner scene. Mostly because as a child I got to complain about the South American Python being on the dinner table in India. Also it giving birth to live young, some snakes do, that snake doesnt. (They were eels anyway) All the Herpetology aside, Indiana Jones ended at Last Crusade, as the title would have you believe.
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I know what you mean, when we got back the original Jones trilogy was on tv and we spent the evening comparing them to Crystal Skull. The humor was more subtle, the action/stunt scenes were just long enough without having 20 minutes of one car chase. And as Matt said, the storylines were much clearer as were the villians. That and Indy didn't get captured every 5 seconds like he did in Skull.
I do got to say, my favorite line though was: "No defiant last words Dr. Jones?" "I like Ike."
At least there are no other trilogies that George Lucas can go back and destroy.
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Defend the Land for it is the Base of the Pillar,
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I don't think my heart could take it

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The Ark becomes "universal faith bucket"
And Indiana Jones starts using condoms.
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Last Crusade had Sean Connery... that and it had the famous "No Ticket" line
Temple of Doom... well, I liked the mad magazine version better, but Short Long was one of the few kids added to a movie of adults that actually was fun... and it had the "You call him Dr. Jones!! Doll!"
KotCS had some fun reminicing scenes that made it enjoyable... like how every movie started with the paramount logo fading into the view of a mountain... this time it was a prarie dog hill.. cute, and the "I've got a bad feeling about this" line homage to Star Wars... a nice little inside joke. The scene in the graveyard was well done, and it was cool to see Dr. Jones in action again. The physics of this movie was TERRIBLE though. Sorry, if the magnetic field is strong enough to get gunpowder to fly through the air, their guns would be at least significantly pulled as well. Fridges aren't great places to hide from a Nuclear Explosion, and how much squish would he feel when that fridge landed? And the ending was very silly... the Indy movies were always kinda fantasy sci-fi in a low level almost lovecraftian hidden from the common man's sight kind of way. Actually, it was the ending I think everyone hated the most... I mean, we already saw this episode of Star-Gate with the crystal skull and the aliens and the other dimension... and star-gate did it not only first but better. The other crazy action scenes, I wasn't as upset about... they were modernish romps, and not the classic action scenes we grew up with and loved. Now that they have the technology, they will continue to go over the top with the cartoonish nature film is taking on, and we will complain about it, just like our grandparents complained that the Errol Flynn was the greatest action hero, and the explosions and craziness of the original Indiana Jones movie was over the top with the whole melting faces and death by propeller.
So in the end, I did enjoy watching this latest Indiana Jones movie. Not sure if it's #3 or #4, as there are some things in Temple I didn't like. But I think it will be like indepenence day was for me... I didn't like it at first, then I came to enjoy it for what it was. A movie that didn't worry about the plot making sense... only that the plot had the appropriate pieces to it so it could fit in all the scenes and inside jokes they wanted to lace it with.
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www.the-editing-room.com/indianajones4.html
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"To illustrate this, SHIA LEBEOUF flies up into the ***** JUNGLE and swings like ***** TARZAN along the ***** VINES with a ***** ARMY of CGI ***** MONKEYS. That actually ***** HAPPENS."
haha
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Harrison F..ing Ford: You seriously going to talk like this the entire movie? (to Cate Blanchett)
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That's seriously one of the funniest things I have ever read. And it perfectly illustrates everything wrong with the movie.
"To illustrate this, SHIA LEBEOUF flies up into the ***** JUNGLE and swings like ***** TARZAN along the ***** VINES with a ***** ARMY of CGI ***** MONKEYS. That actually ***** HAPPENS."
haha
--Skimmel
A movie chock full of WTF moments... Disappointing that it happened in an Indiana Jones movie, but I was 'entertained' nonetheless...

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Random Quote
Brother Germaine: "I just thought you all should know that earlier tonight we killed T'bal."
*blank stares*
Arlington: "Huzzah?"
Brother Germaine: "You know, the enemy that has menaced us for over a year and murdered many of our friends? He's dead."
*a couple of nods*
Arlington: "I believe you can attribute our subdued response to the fact that we're eating bacon."
Brother Germaine: "You have bacon?"